I can remember when I was in the hospital. It was after a long week of hitchhiking along the east coast thinking I was a prophet and I had just gotten home and told my parents about my mission. I can remember breaking down completely, emotionally unable to process the fact that I was actually certifiably insane. It was a constant struggle between me telling myself that things I was thinking weren’t real and trying to come to terms with the notion I had always had of crazy people being dangerous and unhinged. I was one of those people. I was crazy.
The point is, it took me a long time to accept my diagnosis and to put in the work I needed to do to get better.
I’ve been there and I know what it’s like to lose yourself completely in the idea that who you are as a person is flawed.
I thought before I educated myself that craziness was a character fault but that’s not true. It’s biological, it’s chemicals and it has nothing to do with who you are as a person. That notion still stuck with me though and I was afraid for a long time about what people would think and why I had done the things I did.
My brain wasn’t working correctly and because of this I thought that I was a defect. Read More →