Archive for psychosis

Dealing With The Symbolism In Psychosis

In the midst of a psychotic episode, whether the result of bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, one of the main motivating factors in our jilted decisions is the imagined symbolism in meaningless circumstances or objects.

I can remember when I was out on the streets of New York and Boston, deep in the midst of a major psychotic episode. I was convinced I had a mission to bring peace to the world, and though I was destitute, I wandered around following signs and colors and motions of passersby convinced there was some deeper symbolism or meaning in these insignificant things. Read More →

Separating Delusions from Reality

In the midst of my most intense psychotic episode I thought I was a prophet.

I thought it was my job and my job alone to bring peace to the world.

I was receiving hidden messages that only I could see when I listened to the radio or watched television and I thought there was great evil coming to the world.

The clincher is, though, that although I was thinking all of this stuff, there was never any concrete tangible evidence that any of it was real.

At every turn my delusions that things were happening were rebuffed by everyday life.

Just one example was the hidden meaning I’d see in street signs that told me something, or told me to go somewhere, once I acted on that meaning though I was still just as lost as ever. Read More →

What to Do About Persistent Delusions

I’m sure I’m not the only one who experiences this. I think most people with schizophrenia have that one delusion that they keep going back to that, no matter how hard they try to get rid of it, always sticks around. For me it’s the notion that people are making fun of me.

I don’t know why this is such a hang up for me as it really doesn’t matter either way but I’m constantly worried what people think of me and no matter how much therapy or how many antipsychotics I put into my body this delusion always remains.

It’s so persistent that there have been times I’ve succumbed to it and started to believe it as the truth. It’s caused me to be on my guard whenever any offshoot of the notion comes up and it’s caused me to be wary whenever I hear someone laughing or whenever I see someone whispering to their friend.

No matter what, I always think it’s about me and this is not a good thing. Read More →