Not only does it take work to find stability, but also to maintain it once you’ve found your footing.
Sometimes what’s required is a strict regimen of being faithful to your meds as well as your personal work or therapy.
You’ll find that it’s incredibly easy to slip up on one or another of these things and the result is an inevitable falling back into psychosis.
You may think, somewhere along the way that you feel better and you may even forget that you have a mental illness.
As a result you may become more lax on taking care of yourself and taking your meds but then, in a matter of time, things will start to get strange again.
I’ve been in that position a number of times and in my experience it’s not something I like doing.
In addition every six months, or every year or so you may find that your meds don’t seem to be working as well as they were, it could be a result of increased stress in your life or something else but there may be a very real possibility that you need an adjustment.
That’s ok, and it happens with me and pretty much anyone else who has to deal with this stuff.
Sadly, it’s a lifelong illness and though right now there’s no cure I still have hope for the future.
The point of all this is to say that maintaining your stability can be a challenge.
I can remember a few years back when everything seemed to be going well. I thought I was doing everything right but for one reason or another I got my wires crossed with the pills I was supposed to be taking,
I started taking less of just one of the 6 pills I take, thinking it wouldn’t make a difference. It was ok for a week or two but then I started to experience more paranoia.
I thought everyone was looking at me and judging me and I sort of fell into the delusion that I was being followed.
Things were bright too though, my thoughts were sparkling and I was able to form connections between things that I had all but missed when I was fully medicated.
It was exciting but it also scared the hell out of me.
I want to be in control of myself and I want to keep myself grounded so I called my doctor. Thankfully we got it sorted out and I was back on my way to relative stability.
Suffice it to say that I know what it’s like to lose your footing and while it may not bother some people to the degree that it bothers me, I think stability is important to maintain, no matter how difficult it is to do so.
If you’re experiencing abnormal symptoms or a relapse into delusional thinking, paranoia, and psychosis, I think it’s important to check in with your doctor and be honest about what’s happening.
They can help.
Also, no matter what happens with you in dealing with this illness, please remember that you’re not alone.