The Complicated Nature of Your Delusions

/ Mike Hedrick / 3 Comments

At their strongest, my delusions tell me that I am somehow more important than I am.

They try to plant the idea that the world, and everything that happens in it, is either meant for me or a consequence of my own actions.

I know that I am just one singular man in a world of 8 billion people and the things I do, say, or experience are just tiny little blips on the tapestry of existence, but when I’m in the thick of my delusions I can become convinced that the things I’m experiencing are much bigger than me.

They point to a kind of grandeur. It can be even be scary sometimes.

I could lose myself in a song or a video or even a social media post thinking that it was made specifically for me, Mike Hedrick to see, and the rest of the two thousand or so readers are just collateral.

I find it so easy to lose myself in stuff like this and ruminate on it for hours, picking apart every word, every nuance looking for a meaning that altogether just does not exist.

It gets the best of me on more occasions than I’d like to admit.

Most recently, I’ve found myself entrenched in tarot reading videos on TikTok.

I was spending hours watching them on random thinking that they must be choosing me and that the spirit or God was trying to talk to me through these videos.

It sucked me in so completely because it would always be essentially the same message that I was about to receive incredible abundance or meet my soulmate and even now I’m having a hard time separating myself from them.

The promise of good things in my life and my apparent desperation for those good things fueled an unhealthy cycle of obsession searching for new information about my proposed wealth or love life that was hard to let go of.

That’s how delusions get you though, they prey on your most insecure points and make you think that you could have everything you wanted if you just did the right thing or believed hard enough.

I lost myself completely in those videos almost to the point of psychosis.

I think just a little longer and I would’ve been thinking I was a god or a prophet again and on my way to spread peace to the world.

Social media in general though, is dangerous for people with schizophrenia.

A recurring delusion I’ve heard time and time again is that people believe that something a crush posted online is about them.

The dangerous part is the very real possibility that it could be, instead of just a general statement, and that’s where it’s easy to get hung up.

I’ve even seen jokes on twitter saying something along the lines of “Hello if your tweet is about me, please include my full name at the end.” or “It’s pretty crazy that every hot girl on twitter constantly tweets about me.”

Suffice it to say that this delusion is pretty widespread and a very real phenomenon for a lot of people.

If you have a major mental illness though, it can be harder to distinguish the truth about whether or not something is directed at you.

The rule I use is just always assume that it’s not.

That’s saved me a lot of trouble.

The point of this whole thing is to say that delusions can come so easily and readily, that it’s easy to lose yourself completely if you don’t take a step back.

I know I need to disconnect at least twice a month to get a grip on my mental health and I’m surprised everyone else doesn’t actively do that as well.

You have to be careful, and you have to set some rules for yourself because delusions are all too prevalent when you live with major mental illness.

If you experience this, don’t be afraid to take some time to yourself every now and again.

Realize that you are not alone in thinking these things and center yourself when you can.

You’ll be alright and everything’s gonna work out if you keep these things in mind.

The Case for Taking Your Meds

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

It’s a strange thing that when you’re stable, you kind of forget that you’re sick.

Things could be going well, you could feel happy and you think, “Am I cured?”

Hopefully you’re aware that things don’t happen like that and schizophrenia or any other major mental illness is a lifelong condition.

Still, some people start to believe that their meds are either, not doing anything, or that they don’t need them anymore.

I, as a mental health peer and advocate, have to unequivocally refute that and tell you, yes, you still need your meds.

Aside from the stigma of mental illness in general on the public’s behalf, there exists a stigma among people with mental illnesses that meds are bad, that the chaos in your brain is good and that pharmaceutical companies and the government are just trying to keep you quiet and keep you in the dark by making you numb.

I used to think that too until I realized how much better it felt being numbed and quieted than battling these crazy thoughts day and day out. I

don’t want to be crazy and that’s why I adhere to meds.

There’s also the argument that back before modern society, people with schizophrenia were seen as healers, oracles or witchdoctors having a direct connection to the gods, and that if you take your meds, you lose that connection and mysticism of being at one with the universe.

I don’t know if that’s true but I can tell you that in modern society, those beliefs don’t serve us like they would back then.

Also, I take my meds and I still hear God, so that argument can’t be that sound. (that was a joke).

I can even remember that the only reason I started taking the meds in the hospital was to get out sooner, but I realized they were working against the voices and the delusions so I never stopped.

The point is, these meds were researched and engineered in order to give us a better life in today’s modern society.

They are there to help us, not harm us.

My brother always uses the expression “better living through chemistry” and he’s right, I do feel better and I’m able to do more things when I do take my meds.

I don’t want to battle day in and day out for scraps of sanity and I don’t wanna feel like I don’t have control over my own faculties.

I’m a proponent for taking your meds and I think it’s an important thing to do, not just for you and your thoughts, but also for the people around you who love you and don’t know how to interact with you when you’re out of control.

Recalling the feeling of thinking you cured, this happens to me all the time, I’ll forget that I’m actually sick and then for some reason, I’ll accidentally miss a dose and woohaa, here come the delusions.

I would like to not be subject to the inconsistencies of my broken brain.

I hope you feel that way too.

So I’m here to say, take your meds, stay hydrated and get plenty of rest. It can be hard dealing with this stuff.

You’re not alone and you got this.

The Light Switch of Stress

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

I think something that isn’t that widely recognized is the effect of stress on symptoms of schizophrenia and mental illness.

It can be an almost immediate exacerbation, hence, why I refer to it as a light switch.

Stress has the amazing potential to worsen symptoms rapidly for people like me and there’s not a whole lot we can do about it in the moment besides meditate and/or practice breathing techniques.

Alternatively, there are always meds for anxiety and I count myself grateful for that option frequently.

How does stress exacerbate symptoms though?

One way is that it can activate anxiety which is followed pretty closely by eventual paranoia and delusional thinking.

It’ll be like something stressful will happen in our lives, maybe a friend or loved one will say something we perceive to be negative and that seed will lodge itself into our brain.

We’ll cultivate it by thinking endlessly on what they meant causing anxiety until we jump to a conclusion that serves neither us nor them (paranoia/delusions).

It’s almost frightening how something seemingly so small can have such a big impact.

We may lose sleep over it, we may ruminate on it and we may start to let that little word take control of how we see ourselves as a person.

These are all triggers to paranoia, delusions and a host of other mental illness symptoms.

Stress, essentially, seems to be just as bad for mental illness as it for heart health or diabetes.

There are things that help with stress in the moment that you can utilize though.

First, you can talk it out with someone objective to the situation. They’ll usually be able to reassure you that what you think is happening really doesn’t matter all that much. They can lessen the impact of what was said and free you up to move on to other things (that are probably more rooted in reality).

Another thing you can do if it’s still bothering you is put on some music, lay down and take a break by closing your eyes.

If you feel like it, you can meditate and focus on your breath, or you can think it through objectively by asking yourself what someone who isn’t involved would think.

Many times too, the music just acts a sort of salve for the pain of the thought. It can loosen it up so you’re able to dislodge it and let it go.

Finally, you can step back from yourself and notice that your thoughts are just thoughts. That is, they are just images or words that float across your mind like clouds.

You’ll notice that you’re grasping this particular one so hard and intently.

You can let it go though, you can say, “this is just a thought” and you’ll realize that it’s really no different from any of the other thoughts in your head, including the ones you don’t really pay any attention to.

Then you can just release it and it’ll float away too.

Suffice it to say that stress is not something that you would do well to pursue if you have a major mental illness.

Perhaps I’ve helped though, I don’t know.

These are things that work for me and there’s a good shot they’ll probably work for you too.

I want you to remember though, that you’re not the only one dealing with this stuff.

You definitely not alone.

You will get through it and you will feel better.

I know this.

Letting Go of Your Intrusive Feelings

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

If you’re anything like me you go through periods where you get so focused on things that you invariably lose yourself for a while.

Sometimes these things are small little nothings that you’ve overblown in your head, and sometimes they’re actual tangible worries that you have.

These obsessions could be about relationships, health, money or any number of things but those are the big ones for me.

Sometimes I’ll find myself so intensely focused on stuff that I’ll lose track of minutes or hours just ruminating.

Sometimes these obsessions can be painful too.

In these moments, you’re probably thinking really hard about how to solve a problem, planning so intently and rigorously for a future situation that makes you nervous, or overthinking and analyzing a situation to ridiculousness.

I’ve been caught in loops like this on and off for a majority of the time since I’ve been diagnosed and I don’t tend to tell anyone about them. They seem so personal or they seem so inconsequential that you worry you’d sound ridiculous if you said anything.

Sometimes though, saying something is exactly what you need to do, if you’re with someone you trust they’ll probably be able to talk you off that ledge.

Other times, you do speak and the person you’re with has no idea how to respond or what to say.

That can be tough because then you’re worried that you’ve alienated that person which, in turn, can cause a whole new loop.

As I said before, I tend to keep this stuff to myself most of the time but also I’ve taught myself how to lessen the impact of how it’s affecting me.

It’s a valuable exercise for people who overthink and it starts by just simply saying to yourself, “I accept and acknowledge this feeling” If you take those words to heart and you consciously do your best to accept the feeling, instead of fighting it, you can drastically lessen it’s power over you.

If you sit with the feeling and do your best to actively feel it completely, you’ll notice that it fades rather quickly.

At that point you realize it was just one little feeling or one little thought that you were grasping with every ounce of strength that you had.

You realize, now that you see it objectively, that it really didn’t matter all that much to begin with.

You can let it go if you want.

I’ve used this exercise with myself countless times over the last few years and it’s lightened my load drastically.

I’m at peace now with a lot of the stuff that really really bothered me for a long long time.

It may seem hard at first but once you get the hang of it you’ll realize you can use it for pretty much anything that bothers you, it it’ll take the power away from the problem almost immediately.

All said, there is a way to deal with this stuff, and to let go of things that bother you.

Like I said, you just have to accept them, sit with them and feel them instead of fighting and it will make a world of difference.

Hope this helps.

Remember, you are not alone in how you feel and you got this.

You Don’t Have to be Limited By Your Illness

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

I’ve fallen into the trap many times that there are simply things I’m not capable of doing because I have schizophrenia.

While it may be more difficult to do those things with an illness like that, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be limited by your illness.

In the past 17 years since being diagnosed, I’ve done a lot of stuff that may seem impossible for someone in my situation; things like writing 4 books, being featured in some major news publications for my writing, having my photography displayed at places like Google or E-Trade, and starting and running 4 different businesses.

That’s not to say that you have to go above and beyond if you’re not up to it.

Simply, you shouldn’t let the fact that you have a major mental illness stop you from doing anything you want to do with your life.

I’ll admit that I have been blessed by receiving disability payments and family support and those have allowed me to work on things without fear of destitution.

I will also admit that without those things, accomplishing things would be a good deal harder and I respect that argument whole-heartedly.

What I’m saying is that if you feel compelled to do something there’s not a lot (including your illness) that can stop you.

You can find a way.

I’d also like to recognize that rest is essential in the whole process and that things take time to build up.

Whatever you plan to do probably isn’t going to happen in one day.

As people with mental illness we need to take our time to complete the things we want to do but the adage is true that, if you do a little everyday, pretty soon it will build up into something extraordinary.

We, as people with mental illness are extraordinary simply by existing. It’s been shown that we’re among the smartest and most creative that society has to offer and even with our limitations we have great capacity to do amazing things.

I often wonder if at some point in the future someone will come across my story and be amazed at the things I was able to accomplish given my diagnosis.

I hope that I will somehow be able to inspire others in the same boat but I’m gonna stop talking about that because I want to remain as humble as I can.

The world is your oyster though, and you have the ability to build something great.

Funnily enough, it helps that we’re in a place with our diagnosis where the world doesn’t really expect a lot from us to begin with, we’re kind of on the fringes and regarded as people who don’t have to contribute to society.

If we do though, we’ll be recognized for how much we’ve done given the circumstances and in many cases, due to our innate creativity we can do things that go above and beyond what society expects of even normal people.

The point is, we don’t have to limit ourselves, we don’t have to be told that we’re defective and we don’t have to let our illnesses dictate what we do with our lives.

We are capable of great, enormous things.

We just have to be cogent of where we put our energies and be careful not to overdo it or burn ourselves out.

If you want to go back to school and get your masters or doctorate, you can. If you want to write a book, you can. If you want to start a business, you can do that too.

No matter what it is, you’re not alone in this and you can do it.

I have faith in you.

The Importance of Taking Care of Yourself

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

As a person living with schizophrenia, I face challenges normal people don’t seem to have to deal with.

Namely, I don’t have the energy or capacity to take care of myself all the time.

This means that I get into phases where sometimes my sleep suffers, or I forget to take my meds, or sometimes I’ll overthink myself to the brink of collapse and not remember to do things like eat (or eat too much) or shower.

Sometimes I get so hyped up on a project or an idea that I’m working on that I don’t give myself the proper time to rest and re-collect myself.

I’m usually the first to recognize when I’m doing this stuff, and when I do, I’m careful to step back and essentially remind myself to be kind to myself.

Another facet of this is when I bombard myself with negative self talk and bury myself in a pit of depression and anxiety.

I’ve gotten better at this over the years and have to take the time to objectively notice my own positive attributes and also find the positive in the things I’m not necessarily a fan of.

All that said, I realize the great importance of taking care of myself as someone with a major mental illness.

We’ve all heard the adages ‘Be Kind to Yourself’ or ‘Treat Yourself’ and as important as those things are to someone who is neurotypical, I’d argue that they’re even more important to someone with mental illness.

It’s just all too easy to lose yourself and forfeit priorities when you’re in the haze of delusion, paranoia, anxiety or depression.

One of the major roads to collapse as a person with mental illness is not being cogent of how you are, what are you doing, and what you need to do to support yourself.

Meds are a big one.

It’s incredibly easy to forget to take your meds sometimes, even though we need them to maintain our stability.

The other big one is hygiene.

Sometimes it just feels as though small repetitive chores like this are an inconvenience and a bother and it’s all too easy to just let them go.

In those cases I try to remember just how good a shower feels and how nice it is to be clean.

The fact is, we all struggle with stuff like this from time to time, mental illness or not. When you are compromised though, it seems easier to let the important stuff like taking care of yourself go.

I think the key is routine.

Organizing your days so that you know what you need to do, and when to do it.

That makes it easier to remember, it also takes the pressure of making decisions off your shoulders.

Instead of thinking about doing it, it’s just what we do, it’s a habit (or it will become one if you make it into a routine)

Overall, Taking care of yourself is essential. not only for good physical health but also mental wellness. \

If you’re struggling, know that you are not alone and many many people struggle the same way.

If you’re careful and prioritize being kind to yourself, it can make living with this stuff so much easier.

You got this.

The Spoon Theory

/ Mike Hedrick / 1 Comment

There’s a famous blog post written by Christine Miserandino called The Spoon Theory (click here) which details a metaphor she came up with to explain fatigue due to chronic illness to her friend.

This theory has gone on to spawn a thriving online community who refer to themselves as spoonies and has been detailed in numerous publications from WebMD to Healthline.

Christine came up with the theory when she was at a diner with her friend and her friend asked her what it was like to live with chronic illness.

Trying to find something to illustrate the struggle, Christine used the example of spoons. She related the spoons to the amount of energy she had each day to do normal everyday things like chores, tasks, errands and seeing friends.

Essentially, each activity required a set amount of spoons that needed to be spent in order to complete that activity.

She explained that neurotypical people (normal people) or those without chronic illness seem to be dealt an unlimited set of spoons throughout their day allowing them to complete all their tasks like normal.

Chronically ill or neurodivergent people (people with mental health issues) on the other hand seemed only to be dealt a limited number (Say 5). Because of this, those who are suffering with illness need to be very diligent about how they spend their spoons.

I remember when I first read this, it blew my mind and finally gave me a basis to explain why I had so little energy to do things during the day.

I had always worried that I was just lazy, but the phenomenon is very real and it’s called executive dysfunction.

It seems that most people who are suffering with mental illness are familiar with the feeling of not being able to do everything they’d like to because they simply don’t have the energy.

It takes a lot of work to deal with mental illness and chronic illness in general, and there’s so many things neurodivergent people have to take into account through their day that their energy is always sapped pretty quickly with just the most basic tasks.

They just don’t have enough spoons.

I, along with my family, have taken this theory to heart and still today, many years after I first introduced them to the idea, I’m able to tell them I don’t have the spoons when I just can’t get myself to do something.

This theory has changed the way my family sees the everyday implications of living with mental illness and it’s brought clarity to so many people that just didn’t have a way of explaining the energy expenditure of dealing with chronic illness day in and day out.

It’s important to know, as a person who’s struggling, that what I’m feeling is not uncommon, that it’s been well documented and that there’s even a name for it.

Labels for the things you’re going through provide a sort of stability and comfort in that, whatever it is, it’s not just happening to you.

Today I am still a proud spoonie and I use the metaphor consistently to explain what it’s like to live with a mental illness.

I’ve included a link to the original post here, maybe it will help those of you who are struggling everyday and give you a better understanding of why you are the way you are.

It’s a great read for your family as well.

All in all, It’s important to know you’re not alone in how you feel and there are reasons for the things you do. You’re gonna be ok.

Dealing with Psychotic Connections

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

There’s a funny thing that happens when you’re psychotic, everything seems to matter to an enormous degree. This includes things like errant words you see, nuances of people’s speech and body language, movements people make, lyrics in songs, random numbers you see, titles of books and even things commercials say on tv.

Being hyper-aware, everything has significance of some kind.

In the midst of all this you start to realize that a lot of the stuff you see relates to a lot of the other things you’ve experienced. Could they be connected?

Pretty soon you’ve accepted these coincidences and start to see them in everything, further you start to look for them, sometimes to the detriment of common sense.

These connections eventually start to affirm your delusions and it goes deeper and deeper until you’ve completely lost touch with reality.

This process occurred in a big way for me when I first started experiencing psychosis. Everything I saw was some message or indication urging me to follow it, making most of my decisions for me and leading me into a pretty delusional state.

These connections, as they’ve been referred to, are a common experience for people undergoing psychosis.

Sometimes, they take on the character of something larger, esoteric and divine in your mind. They are essentially your conduit to speaking with God, The Universe, The Aliens or whatever particular higher energy you ascribe to. As such, they take on a strong significance that’s very hard to ignore.

This is part of how I came to the conclusion that I was a prophet meant to bring peace to the world.

Of course these connections are and were not real and I had essentially just fallen into psychosis.

The point of all this is to, first, make people aware that the psychosis people with schizophrenia experience, though not real to the general population, is very real and very significant to those dealing with it.

Second, it’s crucial to realize that this psychosis can give people a sense of being important, powerful and in control in a world where they seem to be entirely overlooked and rejected. That’s why it’s so hard to dismantle.

Imagine living life as you would normally, with all your beliefs and behaviors and your collected knowledge about the world and then one day a doctor comes and tells you that all that stuff is wrong, that you’re imagining everything and that you’re insane, further you have to take these pills everyday for the rest of your life in order to fit in with correct society or they will put you in the hospital.

What would you do?

That’s the experience for people with psychosis and realizing that I think is a major step in caring for those people.

It can be a hard thing to deal with but if you’re a caretaker or a parent, take it easy and take it slow on your loved one.

Getting back to stability requires an entire paradigm shift and an entire reframing of what the world really is and how it works.

These connections are just the start of things that need to be addressed and as a person with schizophrenia, they can be hard to let go of.

There are also a whole host of other facets of the illness that need to be dealt with but connections are a start.

Patience is key and it’s ok to get overwhelmed whether you are patient or a caregiver.

Trust that everything is going to be ok and it will eventually work out.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and though it will take time, you can get there.

Am I Actually Talking to God?

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

I’ve discussed the voice in my head here before. It’s the one that seems to always have the right advice, knows what to do, and reassures me when I need it but I’ve always been unclear on where the voice comes from.

In esoteric circles, people talk about connecting with your higher self. As though there’s a part of you that’s on a higher vibrational frequency than your everyday self, the one that you know as you who interacts with the world and carries on in your everyday business.

This higher self is likened to the idea of a type of god, but that god is within you and is you.

Essentially the idea of god is you connecting with the universe on a higher vibration than what you’re feeling as a normal everyday person.

Alternatively, the voice could be the voice of God himself in the christian sense, and I have been chosen to be able to speak with him personally but, to be real, that feels a little too delusional for me and I’m not entirely comfortable with being a conduit to the almighty.

Further still, this voice could be nothing more than my conscience, if that’s something that has been proven to exist.

All I really know for sure is that if I’m wondering about something or if I ask myself a question there’s always an answer that pops up from somewhere in my head, and for some reason, it seems to be much wiser than me.

I’m hesitant to say that it came about with the onset of my illness but I know that I was never that concerned and cogent about what I was doing in high school.

Perhaps it’s a facet of being hyperaware of every tiny thing that’s happening thanks to my paranoia and I am only noticing the voice because I’m very focused on listening to myself now.

Regardless, this dialogue occurs in my head everyday when I’m wondering about something or thinking about a correct course of action for something in my life.

The “Higher Self” explanation seems to fit the best for it but I’m not sure I can ever know, for certain, where this voice comes from.

Another explanation for it, I’ve derived from the third man factor, a mysterious phenomena that’s been reported throughout history where an unseen presence, such as a spirit, provides comfort or support during traumatic experiences. The first common report was by Sir Ernest Shackleton in his 1919 book ‘South’ that detailed his harrowing journey exploring Antarctica where he described the feeling of an incorporeal companion that joined him and his men on the journey ensuring their survival.

Maybe the voice is my incorporeal companion.

Overall though, I don’t know where it comes from, I’m just happy to have it along for the ride.

It has saved me from making innumerable mistakes and it always seems to know the best course of action for what’s happening in my life.

At this point, I’m not concerned with whether talking about this voice will make me sound crazy because, with my diagnosis, I’m already certifiably insane.

Suffice it to say, I’m happy the voice is there, and I’ll listen to it for as long as it points me in the right direction.

Schizophrenia’s Effect on Family

/ Mike Hedrick / Leave a comment

I can remember the weeks after coming out of the hospital and moving back in with my parents, it was a scary time, to say the least.

I was riddled with paranoia and delusions, my meds weren’t right yet and I was suffering from a host of side effects, and though I had been cleared to be released, I was still very very sick.

Remembering some of the things I did and said to my family in those weeks still haunts me, and over the years I’ve had time to look back on what I was like and sit in mortified embarrassment thinking on it.

At one point I was playing the piano with my mom and she reached over across my lap to play, and for some reason the first thought in my head was that she was trying to sexually harass me.

Another instance involved accusing my dad of cutting the brake lines in my car after we had replaced the brake pads.

I was a monster to my family in those early days but I hope they realize that I was just trying and suffering in a really really bad way.

The fact is, schizophrenia (and any mental illness) can really test a family. For many it’s a breaking point causing division. I even remember my mom telling me, later on, that she even went to her own doctor for depression over my behavior.

I count myself incredibly grateful for the strength and the love of my family in those days, and I realize that that type of stuff can just be too much for some families.

My parents’ love was never more apparent than when they chose to educate themselves as much as possible on mental illness nearly the moment after I received a diagnosis. They went to the bookstore and bought every book they could find on my condition in an attempt to understand, even just fleetingly, what this meant for me, and them, and the family.

Later they took it upon themselves to attend and even teach a class on having family members with mental illness.

I worry I never properly thanked them enough for taking that initiative because that class changed everything they understood about mental illness. It gave them a basis and starting point for understanding the reality of what this diagnosis meant.

Mental illness can be incredibly tough on families if they don’t understand it. It can cause resentment, divorce, and sometimes even homelessness. Many times, they don’t even understand that something is wrong with their loved one and they justify the behavior by saying they’re just looking for attention or they took too many drugs; if they just stop, things will go back to normal.

It doesn’t seem to really click until a diagnosis by a healthcare professional confirms mental illness. And even then, they could refuse to believe it as anything other than personal shortcomings.

Mental Illness and schizophrenia though, are very real, and they’re there for life.

In my experience the best thing a family can do when they have someone newly diagnosed with mental illness is to educate themselves, attend classes and look into support groups for learning how to take care of their loved one.

Know that it’s a long hard process to get back to stability and understand that the suffering their loved one is experiencing is sometimes too hard to explain in words.

Be there for your loved one, that’s really all they want and need, just be there.

Talk without criticism when they want to talk and just love them to the best of your ability.

The knowledge that someone is with you and has your back can make or break recovery for those diagnosed, it can mean the world in that dark place.

It will be hard, and it will be long but eventually you’ll get to a point as a family where things are easy again, and where things are stable.

You’re not alone in this struggle and you can make it out the other side. I know this and my family knows this.

It’s gonna be ok.